im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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