Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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