So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
