Hey man sorry I got all grabby
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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