Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
