How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize
