I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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