I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
