drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
