no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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