It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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