I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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