but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
