he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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