I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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