Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
