I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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