if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
