I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
