I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
