Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
