would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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