Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
