Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
