i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
