honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
