Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
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how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Randomize