Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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