I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
