He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
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I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
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In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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