What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
