Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
