rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
