FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.