smell my finger.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
