Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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