If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
