Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
