Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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