i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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