i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
