i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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