We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
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the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
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I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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