I'm lost and stupid without you.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I could fuck to npr.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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