I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
