Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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