I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Randomize
