so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
