Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): dear santa what can i do with your candy cane? http://tfl.nu/evo0
  Replies (2) Good night (1144) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates. http://tfl.nu/jgwf
  Replies (89) Good night (5826) Bad night (1479)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men. http://tfl.nu/7tn8
  Replies (31) Good night (2180) Bad night (8246)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.

  (205): View more from Alabama

  better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush. (205): better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush. http://tfl.nu/xveq
  Replies (38) Good night (1009) Bad night (5242)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding. http://tfl.nu/b0qx
  Replies (17) Good night (4184) Bad night (1016)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while. http://tfl.nu/n1x9
  Replies (24) Good night (5388) Bad night (1407)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself. http://tfl.nu/imt6
  Replies (8) Good night (4629) Bad night (1320)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick. http://tfl.nu/022f
  Replies (14) Good night (930) Bad night (4441)
• Favorite

  (+33): View more from France

  Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+33): Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee http://tfl.nu/uze3
  Replies (23) Good night (1041) Bad night (4369)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  How did you break your hand eating pizza?

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Boxes are hard to see rocks through.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza. (1-603): How did you break your hand eating pizza? (603): Boxes are hard to see rocks through. http://tfl.nu/kquz
  Replies (7) Good night (2663) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (626): You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin http://tfl.nu/mf5k
  Replies (6) Good night (2374) Bad night (1064)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex. http://tfl.nu/mbc3
  Replies (2) Good night (855) Bad night (422)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies http://tfl.nu/i19i
  Replies (1) Good night (1076) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words" http://tfl.nu/ql9t
  Replies (2) Good night (821) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman. http://tfl.nu/hitw
  Replies (0) Good night (564) Bad night (212)

Randomize