I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.