There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA