My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
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