You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
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