Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.