I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
smell my finger.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit