if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
How's work?
Spinning.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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