the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
