he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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