He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
