There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize