I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
