your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
