"it" just moved
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
