Your face is a jimmy john
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
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