Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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