i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
