you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
two words: eviction party
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
