At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
