No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
