just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
