It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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