What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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