is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I think I have vodka in my lungs
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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